Today started at the crack of darkness at 4am! Which is early to wake up for a swim meet but not as early as waking up to run a marathon. I had to walk the dog, eat breakfast, shower and shave. Well I really didn't have to shower but I find shaving the face is easier after a hot shower. Then I meet up with Connie and Cyn to head down to the Bumpy Jones Classic. When we got there I staked out my space with some of the swim meet essentials - water, G2, grapes, sunblock, cliff bar, sunblock, Gu Shots and more water
1 of 1 - The Cooler of Goodies
While sitting in the stands waiting for my swim mates to get ready for warm up I look bellow me and the man, the legend The Bumpy Jones was sitting down below.
2 of 12 - The Legend of Bumpy Jones 
I admit I'm really not up on my swimming history and actually never heard of Bumpy till a few weeks ago. But he is some sorta swimming legend. The program had a wikipiedia like page about him but after swimming the 200 butterfly I attempted to toss my program in the trash in a show of defiance for my slow swim. Needless to say I failed and missed the trash bucket forcing myself to go back and repeat my failed temper tantrum. But anyways he must be famous if they named a swim meet after him. I mean I haven't been to the Joel McKenna Classic, yet!
3 of 12 - SASSY! 
Okay so I'm skipping ahead in the timeline of the day! I mean come on SASSY! So sometime between my 200 Backstroke and my 200 Butterfly I was in the warm up pool and while hanging out by the wall saw this sign for SASSY! I so want to be on a team called SASSY! Too bad it's for that synchronized "swimming" shit.
4 of 12 - The WarmUp 
This picture was pretty early in the warm up. People were still arriving. The lanes weren't too croweded. Actually they never did get overly crowded. Even the smaller warm up area was doable all day. Normally I hate meet warm up pools but I was okay today. Either that or I'm mellowing out at meets. Which I don't think is true cuz' I was nervous and peeing non-stop all day. Damn nervous energy! You may notice that the stands had fans that were turned on later in the day. It was comfy up in the stands and the locker rooms were a/c'ed so only being on deck was brutal.
5 of 12 - 200 LCM Backstroke 
I feel like Hertz or is it Avis? Well Friday when I swam the 800 LCM Free I came in 2nd in my age group and then again today in the 200 LCM Backstroke I came in 2nd. I'm actually okay with my time. Mainly because I've never swam the 200 LCM Backstroke event before. I've only swam one other LCM swim meet in my adult life and that was in 2008. I haven't even been in a LCM pool since last year. As for my stroke I really gotta work on that. In the pool I've been swimming in we always don't have flags so I'm always looking all over for the poles which carried over today. I wasn't as bad but I was circle swimming which is bad. I also was sorta all over the lane. I felt the lane line brush against my arm a few times. It wasn't a pretty swim. My push off the walls were pretty shitty. I blame my fear of my hip pain for taking them too softly. Really I wasn't preparred at all for this swim. I had voices of past coaches in my head. One of which will kill me for saying this cuz' I most likely remembered it wrong but the pacing of my arm swim cycle was off. I was trying to get it to what I think I was told was the correct way which would be that when one arm is up straight above me the other arm should be bent with my hand "painting" the wall so my arms would be at an "L" like shape. Once again I don't know if I'm saying that right or if that is even what she had said. Either way my backstroke needs work!
6 of 12 - Red Isn't Just For Commies, Even If I May Be One 
So two days, two events and two second places. Meh! I deserve what I get. I haven't been training as hard as I should. I know that. I just gotta do it. Also it's not just swimming I gotta do better hitting the weights. One thing I felt or learned today is that I don't have the omph in my pulling I use to have. I think weight training makes a big difference in my swimming. God knows my legs aren't doing anything so arms, chest and back need to pick it up!
7 of 12 - Woo hoo! The two sweetest words in the English language: de-fault! 
A wise fat yellow man once said "Woo hoo! The two sweetest words in the English language: de-fault!" And with that I got my 1st Place! Well 1 out of 1! First off you must be one sick individual to swim the 200 Butterfly! Really! If you don't believe me read SwimBrief's "Conversations You Have With Yourself During Every 200 Butterfly." Now 200 SCY and 200 LCM are two different beasts. First of all you have a lot less walls to cling on to and get that extra rest. Ya, we've all done it. You get to the wall and to stop for a very brief moment of time to regroup. Well with long course baby you get less chances! Before the event even was close I was already thinking of scratching. I haven't swam 200 butterfly even in a yard pool in months. What was I thinking? I'm out of shape! I can't swim four long course lengths butterfly! I've done this event once before in 2008 and did a 2:31..something or another. I had sandbagged my time with an entry of 2:45. I just wanted to do below a 2:40. Well sorry I always have two goals in my mind 1.) An Easy Goal and 2.) A Tougher Goal! The tougher goal was anything below a 2:31. I don't know I thought a miracle could happen. That the swim gods would shine down on me or would that be up at me? As we approached the blocks the guy next to me yelled to his teammate something or another about taking it out easy. I thought to myself "yeah, that's a good plan. go slow, be smooth..wait what did the coach say a million times about my stroke?" The double whistle, the long whistle or is it the long whislte then the double whistle? I've been swimming for a good enough time that I should know the order of the whistles and what they mean. Instead I look around for clues. Do I climb on the blocks now or later? Mind you it wasn't as bad at going to the blocks for the backstroke when the coach started the whistle while someone was still swimming from the previous heat in my lane! Doh! Anyways, whistles blow and I get on the block. Wobbly as always. I don't know what it is but I'm horrible on the blocks. I shake all about. My feet are unsteady. I'm a mess. Luckily we are only on the blocks for a short time. The beeping thing goes off and I'm off. I'm deep, I'm trying to kick, I'm fucked already! I start my stroke too soon while I'm still under water. I'm recovering underwater. Doh! I'm taking it easy the first 50 down the pool. Remembering to breath every two strokes. Mind you this means I inhale every two strokes and trying to remember to exhale in between. I'm not always good at that. In fact I mess up a bit and forgot to exhale. I'm taking it too easy but wonder if I'm taking it too too easy. I remember in the past that sometimes I've gone to slow at first. But wait the guy next to me is next to me and he was going to take it easy with his mate. So I must be okay, right? Take it easy. Breath. Exhale. Breath. Exhale. Wait am I burrying my head too deep? Are my hips coming up enough? Am I kicking? Yeah I think I am! Oh wait breath and exhale. The wall is coming. Don't forget to hand touch. Two hand touch. Oh shit! I didn't do the turn right. It's "hello, operator" like the telephone with one arm and what with the other? FUCK! Oh damn I so fucked my underwater kicking thinking about my arms in the turn. Oh fuck again, I breathed on my first stroke. Take it easy. Remember breath and exhale. Time freezes! It's all a blur! Stopping at 100 LCM isn't so bad. It's not like anyone would care, right? I mean do I really need to do this anymore? I'm too old for this shit! Oh well I didn't stop I more as well should continue. Oh wait breath and exhale. Exhale and breath. Oh fuck! I went three strokes without breathing. Should I breath every 1 stroke now? Oh fuck this hurts! My arms are burning. Oh shit, my legs are burning! Never mind my hip! Oh shit. A 150 is enough! No! Damn wall, two hand touch. Don't get fuckin' DQ'ed now! Just breath every fucking stroke till I hit that damn wall. Where is that damn wall! Damn! Mother fucker! I hate swimming! Done! I can't see the fuckin' timing board. What did I swim! Oh well! So I ask the timing chick who is like 7 years old my time. WTF! 2:35 something! I walk disgustingly away. I have my shorts, tee shirt and program with me. Cuz' I needed it to know my lane. I walk past a trash can and try to toss this damn program with all my might into the trash can but fail! I miss FUCK THIS MEET! In shame I reach down and pick the program and toss it in shame into the trash can. My day is over!
8 of 12 - It's Not All About Me! 
Connie and Cyn talk swimming before an event.
9 of 12 - ------ & The Hot But Way Too Young Lifeguards 
Ya, I'm a perv and I'm old. That really isn't true. But yeah I did enjoy some of the lifeguard eye candy even though it made me feel like I was around 1,002 years old. This one had some sorta Wolverine look going for him with some facial hair. Later on in the meet they had Lifeguard In Training folks around the deck. To be honest some of them looked so young and small I wondered if I had drowned in the butterfly if they could have even saved me. (note - image was edited to remove person on deck per request. also removed a bad joke that i mangled the joke so bad but i blame the wine!)
10 of 12 - Don't Go Chasing Pink Waterfalls or Waterslides! 
This was like the best YMCA since the Village People! Really! They had pink waterslides! Mother fuckin' pink waterslides! Did I say pink waterslides, muther fucker I did!
11 of 12 - The Coach 
Coach! He doesn't have a first name or a last name he just goes by as coach! His name is Gary! I'll hold back his last name. He is the coach for the VAST team here which is a team for the retired folks who live in The Villages. He also coaches a rag tag group of lost swimming souls like myself. He's been giving me advice, workouts, words of wisdom and so much more. Without "Coach" I would have been in a funny farm months ago. If swimming is my one thin string to sanity then Coach is the spider who is spinning that string!
12 of 12 - The Best Food I've Had Since Leaving Los Angeles 
The end! Oh god. I forgot the name of the place. But it looks like Wahoos!, it's menu is like Wahoos! But no fish tacos! But everything else is the same. Anyways any day that ends in a burrito and conversation is a good day!
disclaimer: i was drinking wine after being in the sun while writting this so any spelling errors or mistakes are the fault of Pinot and some guy name Grigio! For more information on 12 of 12 head to Untitled Chad Darnell Project and for more info on Bumpy Jones follow this LINK!
