Tuesday's Swim Report - I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking pool!"

Lane 1 - The Australian posts "This comeback is not about London. . . I am back in love with swimming, says Ian Thorpe.  WHEN we meet to talk about his comeback, I am concerned that this is probably the last thing in the world Ian Thorpe wants to discuss.  Here we have an Olympic icon making a return for one last Olympic Games. And it is not going well."

Lane 2 - WXYZ posts (w/video) "Local Olympic gold medalist teaches Detroit kids to swim.  Program to make urban kids bona fide swimmers.  With the help of Olympic gold medalist Peter Vanderkaay , a group is teaching many kids as they can to be good swimmers.  Vanderkay is also University of Michigan All-American swimmer.  He was a part of the 2008 American summer Olympic relay team that set a world record along with Michael Phelps."

Lane 3 - The Press of New Zealand posts "Orcas, sharks in feeding frenzy.  oxing Day at a Southland beach turned into a feeding frenzy as a pod of orcas and a group of sharks clashed in the surf.  Tracy Thomas said it looked like the orcas, also known as killer whales, were hunting sharks, with one wounded shark washing ashore on Blue Cliffs Beach, near Tuatapere, with a bloody gash on its snout."

Lane 4 - The Dispatch posts "Hucknall pool makes splash with Olympic swimming champ.    DOUBLE Olympic champion Rebecca Adlington is adamant that Hucknall Leisure Centre has a vital role to play in unearthing the next crop of world-class British international swimming talent.  Mansfield glory-girl Adlington is lending her support to British Swimming’s Big Splash campaign — ahead of the London 2012 Olympics.  And the pool at Hucknall Leisure Centre, off Linby Road, is one of more than 1,000 pools across the UK getting involved."

Lane 5 - MSNBC posts "Too much holiday spirits? Swimmers take icy plunge around the world."  photo gallery

Lane 6 - The Squeeze has "New swimming wristband tracks your laps.  Fresh on the heels of the recently released Striiv, a UK-designed portable fitness device called Swimtag aims to come to a pool near you to help monitor your laps and make swimming more interactive  The product launched this summer at pool centers in the UK, but hopes to expand its reach even further once it builds traction."

Lane 7 - Texas Sports posts "The 2012 season means more to University of Texas swimmers than most -- with the 2012 London Olympics in July, many of head coach Eddie Reese’s student-athletes are preparing to compete at the United States Olympic Trials in June.  And senior Jackson Wilcox plans to make a splash in the swimming world.  Originally from Nashville, Tennessee, Longhorn men’s swimming coaches Eddie Reese and Kris Kubik recruited Wilcox, the four-time Tennessee state champion in 200m and 500m freestyle events, in Spring 2008."

Lane 8 - USA Today has (w/video ) "Fla. family's Christmas surprise: 13-foot python in pool."